Tuesday, April 7, 2020


Last time I was in the United Kingdom I picked up a book 'Soundings from the Parish Pump' ... billed as a celebration of local difficulties from the weekend edition of The Daily Telegraph.    Two of their gems ...

From the Chard & Ilminster News the following family announcement ... 'Paul, Trev, Dave, Geoff, Gavin, Gerald, Andy, Adrian and Susie proudly announce the birth of their beautiful son Jake, 8lb 15ozs ... our first child after years of trying'.  Exactly what they were trying remains a mystery.

and this from the Midhurst & Petworth Observer ... A verdict of accidental death was recorded by Surrey coroner Michael Burgess following the demise in Haslemere of a 26 year-old maintenance worker who suffocated in his sleep,   The man, who had taken sleeping tablets, was found dead with two tampons in his nostrils.  His girlfriend had helped him put them there in 'a bizzaire attempt to stop him snoring'.    Snorers beware.       

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

And there are books from the Times and The Telegraph on letters to the editor also a giggle. Had a copy years ago but must have given it away. There plenty of their books on Amazon at good prices Samples:

"Sir, Gays should be able to marry so they can suffer like the rest of us"

Other Telegraph unpublished https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/8066418/Unpublished-letters-to-the-Editor-Dear-Sir-I-Could-Go-On....html

" SIR – There is a brilliant and simple solution to the controversy over racial profiling at airports. All passengers will be required to step into a booth that scans for explosive devices and automatically detonates any device found. Harmless individuals will be released immediately after being scanned. Muffled explosions, contained within the booth, will be followed by an announcement that a seat has become available for standby passengers. It’s a win-win for everyone."

"SIR – I have to admit that I misjudged the strength of feeling by public-sector workers against the cuts – right up to the moment I tried to reduce by 25 per cent the amount of housekeeping money I give to my wife."


"Sir, Mrs Judith A. White (letter, October 4) knows a lot of women who start talking as soon as their husbands put the newspaper down.
I know one who starts as soon as I pick it up.”