Friday, January 11, 2019

The New Normal

Yesterday Adolf accompanied No 2 grandson into town to buy some gadget called a 'phone charger' or some such.

We went to the local branch of a national office supplies outfit in which some fifteen staff were in action.   The phone chargers ranged in price from $18 to $58 and when Adolf asked the obvious question he received the amazing advice 'that one works underwater!'  Eventually the whippersnapper chose the $28 version and we wandered up to the checkout where about ten of the staff were carrying out various tasks.

I remarked to my young friend:-  "You know I could never get a job here."

Why not?

I'm not fat enough.

Yeah, I was wondering about that.

Do you think I should ask them if you have to be fat to work here?

Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I kid you not.  All of the ladies bar one were walking bundles of adipose tissue whose hearts were striving to pump enough blood to shift them from the right foot to the left.

Here's a suggestion for the firm's national management.  Instead of joining the ranks of PC companies espousing the virtues of climate change and gender selection, what about installing a treadmill out the back of every store and mandate achievement of individual weight loss targets as a condition of continued employment?

8 comments:

The Veteran said...

Adolf going where Angels fear to tread ... it's not my fault that I'm obese. It's those filthy capitalists who own McDonalds, KFC and Burger King not forgetting Coca-cola and Pepsi, that are responsible.

Just saved our David a post.

David said...

No, Veteran, you didn't save me a post.

People like Adolf have no shame in wanting to tell others how to live. Obesity has many causes, and they are not all due to fast food. Stupidity, however, has only one cause.

On many statistics, skinny people fare worse than their fatter compatriots in health.

...walking bundles of adipose tissue whose hearts were striving to pump enough blood to shift them from the right foot to the left. opines Dr Adolt, with no evidence whatsoever. Adipose tissue is essential to the body's functioning and repairing.

Nike have just released a range of clothes suitable for overweight people to wear during exercise and the American Adolf's have been out in full force, decrying the idea that "fat people want to exercise. here's a few choice words from Adolf's American cousins.

You don’t have to be so PC, Nike, this is trying too hard, fat isn’t pretty nor healthy.

and

Nike have officially just lost my respect and cracked other the PC brigade of having to keep people happy.

Here's a clue Adolf - worry less about other people's lives and do as much as you can with what's left of yours to make the world a better place. Oh, and just maybe the Big Blue Box management know a shitload more about hiring staff than you. Just a thought.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

David

Woof woof!

Nike, did you say? Never heard of them.

Now that they have alienated conservatives from buying their cheap junk, are they trying for the phat market?

I only buy Asics.

The Veteran said...

David ... relax. Only indulging in creating happy mischief.

Judge Holden said...
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Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Chain pulled!

Flushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Judge Holden said...
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Judge Holden said...
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