Friday, May 24, 2019

#SadBritain - Part 1,060,423: The British Police

I guess once you've lost an empire and enslaved yourself to European technocrats there's no point pretending you have any pride left. Still, this is just so sad:


There was a time when individual cops would simply have taken these and distributed them among family and friends, on the sound basis that every kitchen can use an extra knife. But now they're to be "disposed of correctly and... safely". By professionals trained by licenced chefs I'm sure. And they're actually boasting about this. Don't they have crime solution stats good enough to celebrate?

And if all that is not humiliating enough, take a look at the centre-left of that image.

That's right. It's a rusty spoon.

The responses to the Regents Park Police Twitter account show that at least the traditionally brutal sense of British mocking humour is still alive.
What ho lad! Surrender to me the money in thine register, and possibly a Mars bar, or I daresay you shall taste my blade! 
Until you get every spatula, no one is truly safe. 
Narrator: "But they could already taste the rust that flew from the blade as he whisked it through the air..." 
The only way to stop a bad guy with a spatula is a good guy with ... just about anything. 
"They can have my Spoon when they pry it from my cold ice cream soaked hands!
Although one comment did make a good point:
If you think a spoon can't be a weapon, you never made the unfortunate mistake of mouthing off to my grandmother. 😉
From gun control to knife control to spoon control.

At least the following confiscation by another English Police group had a little more it, to paraphrase Crocodile Dundee:


But note also one of the Twitter responses.


There's also this other gem - from the Regents Park folk again.


Scary!

11 comments:

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Dd you notice these weapons of mass destruction included at least two steels. Those things used by butchers and Adolf to put an edge on their knives each day.

It won't be long before Pommy SWAT teams are descending on primary schools to confiscate all those deadly dangerous pencil sharpeners.

J Bloggs said...

I personally took the last part to mean that the SHOP wanted the cutlery to be disposed of "correctly & safely" as opposed to just chucking them in the bin for whoever to help themselves to, and the police did the shop the favour of taking them off thier hands (probably already piled up in a box with the less threatening items buried deep within)

But hey, its probably far more fun to take pot shots at the police, than consider they might be doing something helpful for a charity

Lord Egbut Nobacon said...

It's the Metropolitan Police, not the British police dumbo.....Oh and the spoon was apart of a drugs kit....didn't your Chicago bea tcop/ detective daddy tell you about that.

January 1 - Charlotte Huggins, 33, stabbed to death in Camberwell
January 1 - Tudor Simionov, 33, stabbed to death in Park Lane
January 1 - Two men - also security guards - aged 37 and 29, and a woman, aged 29, were also stabbed at the private party in Park Lane. They had come to Tudor's aid during the attack
January 5 - A mum in her 30s was fighting for her life and two others wounded in a triple stabbing in broad daylight in Leyton, East London on January 5. She was attacked in front of her two children
January 5 - Man, 26, found suffering from knife wounds in Newham
January 8 - Jaden Moodie, 14, died after being stabbed in Waltham Forest after his moped was rammed off the road, witnesses claimed
January 11 - Woman in her 50s stabbed in Wallington
January 19 - Two men, aged 20 and 18, attacked and stabbed in Edmonton
January 20 - Man, 57, found with stab injury in Kew
January 27 - Polish national Kamil Malysz, 34, stabbed to death in Acton. A man, 33, has been arrested after the death
January 29 - Nedim Bilgin, 17, stabbed to death in Islington
February 3 - Two teens found with knife wounds "may have been attacked in Feltham Park", Met Police say
February 5 - Lajean Richards, 19, a Domino's delivery driver, was stabbed to death outside his family home in Battersea
February 5 - Teenager, 18, rushed to hospital after being stabbed at around 1am on Drummond Street, near Euston station in central London.
February 6 - Teen boy stabbed on London bus in Hackney
February 8 - Two males - aged 16 and 28 years old – were found suffering from stab wounds in Wood Green
February 8 - Mum-of-four Aliny Mendes, 39, was stabbed to death while walking with one of her children near Meadow Primary School in Cheam, Surrey.
February 9 - Man, 23, in critical condition after being knifed in Neasden
February 9 - Boy, 16, suffers stab wound after a fight in Hayes
February 10 - Dennis Anderson, 39, stabbed to death in East Dulwich in a "row over a cigarette" outside an off-licence in East Dulwich
February 18 - Bright Akinleye stabbed to death in Euston after collapsing in a hotel lobby
February 21 - A 23-year-old man was stabbed to death in Lambeth.
February 22 - A teenager was knifed to death in Wood Green, North London, just after 8pm.
March 1 - Jodie Chesney, 17, was knifed to death in a playground in Romford. She was found dead on March 2.
March 6 - David Martinez, 26, was stabbed in the street in Leyton, East London.
March 7 - A 17-year-old boy is stabbed in broad daylight in Kensington.
March 9 - A 19-year-old boy is stabbed in North Finchley and is currently fighting for his life in hospital. He was stabbed in the chest on the 134 bus at Colney Hatch Lane, Muswell Hill.A boy, 17, has now been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder. A pal said the teen was stabbed after LOOKING at the attacker.

Lord Egbut Nobacon said...

March 9 - A man, believed to be 18-years-old, was stabbed on Edgware Road. His injuries aren't considered to be life-threatening.
March 10 - A a 19-year-old was left fighting for his life after being stabbed near flats in East Dulwich in South East London.
March 16 - Nathaniel Armstrong, 29, was stabbed to death on the same street where Jill Dando was shot dead in 1999.
March 22 - Abdirashid Mohamoud, 17, was stabbed to death in Isleworth, West London
March 23 - Four people were stabbed - three teens and man in his 20s - in three separate attacks across the capital
March 24 - A man in his 40s in Hackney was fighting for life
March 24 - In North West London a murder investigation was launched after a man was found stabbed to death
March 25 - Ravi Katharkamar, 54, was stabbed to death "for a few pounds" while opening his newsagents in Pinner, North West London
March 25 - A 15-year-old boy was left in a critical condition after being stabbed on Dartmouth Road, Forest Hill, South East London at 4.10pm
March 26 - Six people, including four teenagers, were stabbed in different locations across the capital within six hours of each other
March 28 - A 17-year-old was repeatedly stabbed in Markhouse Road, in Walthamstow, East London.
March 28 - Zahir Visiter, 25, was found stabbed at 6.15pm in Westminster - he later died in hospital while armed cops sealed off a mosque near Regent's Park.
March 29 - Gavin Garraway, 40, was fatally knifed through the window of his car in Clapham, South London, before his attackers sprinted away. He is the 32nd murder victim in the UK capital this year.
March 30 to April 2 - A series of five knife attacks were carried out in the N18 area of Edmonton, North London. Aged from 23 to 52, all were slashed from behind in the street during "seemingly random attacks", the Met police said. Two victims were left in a critical condition while a third, in his 30s, is fighting for his life in hospital.
April 1 - Calvin Bungisa, 22, was stabbed to death in a busy road after being chased through the streets of Kentish Town at about 8.30pm.
April 1 - Two men were stabbed outside student halls in Wembley
April 3 - A man in his 40s died in Harrow, North London after a 'machete attack'.
April 5 - A man in his 20s was stabbed in broad daylight outside Ilford station at around 3.30pm.
April 6 - A woman, in her 20s, was stabbed in the stomach on Holloway Road, Islington, just a mile from Arsenal's Emirates stadium.
April 6 - A teenager was stabbed in Kingsbury, north west London.
April 6 - A man was knifed in Brixton.
April 8 - A man, aged in his 20s, died in Manor Park, East London at around 9.30pm after being shot and stabbed.
April 21 - a 21-year-old died from stab injuries after a gang attacked him in Harlesden.
April 24 - a 21-year-old man was stabbed to death in a string of four knifings in just seven hours across London.
April 27 - a man died after he was attacked in Frampton Park Road, Hackney at around 2.45pm.
April 28 - A 17-year-old boy was stabbed "six times" on a London bus in broad daylight with a "long knife.
May 1 - A 15-year-old boy was stabbed to death in Hackney.
May 2 - A man was rushing to hospital in a life-threatening condition after reports he was stabbed in Camden Town, North London at 12.17am.
May 2 - A 15-year-old boy was airlifted to the hospital after he was found with stab wounds in Valley Grove, next to Charlton Athletic's football stadium.
May 6 - Two teens aged 17 and 18 were left fighting for their lives after a stabbing in Islington, North London.

Tom Hunter said...

So more knife confiscation is the answer!

Brilliant.

Has any thought been given - not by you of course - to factors behind knife crime other than knives being available?

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

And of course, there'll have to be a ban on the sale of semi-automatic assault knives and with ten or more blades.

Lord Egbut Nobacon said...

Regulating the sale of knives from supermarkets and the removal from charity shops in the greater London area is standard now. Online retailers can be fined if they do not do due diligence on buyers...yeah I know 27 dead kids this year is a bit of a joke but I'm sure the parents will see he funny side later on.

Tom Hunter said...

Online retailers can be fined if they do not do due diligence on buyers

Well I agree that that actually is a joke in light of all the stabbing murders, and that the parents of dead kids won't be laughing. Actually they should be furious at the Police for being so poor at controlling such crime.

Especially when the great scissors killing spree cranks up once the knives are controlled.

I see London's got 500,000 surveillance cameras now.
It is also a well known fact that the average person living in London will be recorded on camera 300 times in one day; an individual doesn’t need to go far without being caught on camera.

Perhaps it's time to take the next step and copy your heros.

Lord Egbut Nobacon said...

No, London does not have 500,000 surveillance cameras now....don't you read your own links. Most are private and of varying quality in shops and business entrances.

Perhaps they need more out in the suburbs so the police will not be seen as poor in controlling knife crime.

You control gun crime by removing the illegal guns.....is it so hard?

Anonymous said...

Liked your STASI movie clip Tom. That's where Putin learned his trade while he was seconded from the KGB. He is applying those lessons in Russia today.

Worthy of an article don't you think?

Tom Hunter said...

Most are private
There are these things called Warrants that Police use to access private records. Long-standard and regular feature of policing.

He is applying those lessons in Russia today. Worthy of an article don't you think?
Indeed. I forget which Russian politician it was that was murdered somewhere near the Kremlin but there were a lot of these suveillance cameras around and mysteriously not a single one of them caught it.