Monday, October 2, 2017



The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.


Adolf Fiinkensein said...

There was a similar very good story floating around NZ twenty years ago. Unfortunately I can't remember the details but it centred around the sinking of the Titanic and the reaction to the event by the various denominations on board.

If I can find it I'll put it up.

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David said...

Very few Squirrels in Oz, in fact, other than a zoo or two, confined to WA.
If you're going to repurpose US material as having happened in Oz at least naturalise the animal.