Friday, October 6, 2017

Friday's Fulminations

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Noel said...


Ciaron said...

Dude, do you even hyperlink?

Anonymous said...

Article in the Herald about New Zealand's blackest day in WW1 which was caused by disease in the trenches.......wrong, wrong even more wrong if he had a degree in wrongness from the university of not quite right.

NZ had around 16,000 men who died from many causes in the four years of WW1. In New Zealand there were 8600 who died between October and December 1918 from the Spanish flu. Two months was NZ's blackest year. 50% of the entire WW1 toll

Lord Egbut

Noel said...

Recent science suggests it was carried into the battle by US soldiers.
War hisory is full of unique diseases bern carried home by returnibg serviceman.

David said...

"We're going to help you out. Have a good time."
—Trump to hurricane victims in Puerto Rico

Tells you all you need to know about the POSUS.

David said...

Trump and Kushner have used at least 3 private email servers since assuming roles in Whitehouse.

Where are the calls to lock them up?

Kushner is a Russian stooge, where are the calls to lock him up?

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Careful David

Somebody will be jangling a set of keys just for you.


Look what I found!

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.

Q. How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A. They mark the camels that kick.

Q. What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
A. Nothing, yet.

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
A. A pimp.

Q. whats the difference between a truck full of dead Muslim babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
A. The bowling bowls are hard to pick up with a pitchfork.

Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

Q. What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
A. Suppressing the erection.

Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.

Q. What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
A. At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

A Muslim walks into his local mosque with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about, Abdul?" Asks the Imam.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies Abdul. "I live by the railroad tracks and on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the rails, like in the American movies. I cut her free and took her back to my humble abode. Allah be praised - we made love all night, all around the tent. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position permitted by Mohammed, Peace Be Upon Him!"

"By the most Merciful," exclaimed the Imam, "you have been blessed. Was she as beautiful as a desert flower?"

Abdul grimaced, "By the Jinn, I do not know - I never found her head."

Q. What's the difference between ET and Muslims?
A. ET got the point and went home.

I went to a Muslim birthday party last night. Damn if that wasn't the fastest game of Hot Potato I've ever seen!

Q. Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a Muslim funeral?
A. There's only 2 handles on a garbage can.

Q. What do you say to a Pakistani at Christmas?
A. A quart of milk, a loaf of bread and a pack of Marlboros please.

Q. What do you call a bus with 2 Somalis falling off a cliff?
A. A waste, you could have fit at least 50 in the bus!

Q. What do you call a Muslim between two houses?
A. Ali.

Q. When's the only time you should wink at a Muslim?
A. When aiming.

Reports say the stench from the thousands of bodies in Pakistan is unbearable. Police report that it's likely to get worse now that there are dead ones.

Q. What can Saudi Arabia do to raise the average IQ in the country?
A. Allow Jews to come in.

A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from."

Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from."

Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.

Q: Where do you find a Muslim with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.

Q: What's the difference between Dar al-islam and Dannon yogurt?
A: The yogurt has a living culture.

Anonymous said...

Do you know why Arabs have camels and Russians Ladas?
- Arabs were allowed to choose first.

Q: How does every Russian joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn? A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes? A: A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.

Q: What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User's Manual? A: The bus and train timetables. Q: What do you call a gassy russian? A: Vladimir Tootin
Q: What did Wendi Murdoch say to Vladimir Putin? A: Put-it-in!
Q: What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles? A: Electricity.

Q: What does a Russian bride get from her husband on her wedding day that is long and hard? A: A new last name.

Lord Egbut