Friday, April 27, 2012

The Keepers - Labour

What remains after the undersized, undertalented, mentally deformed and demented have been thrown back.

There are only twelve I'd keep.

From the homosexual faction, on the grounds that probably fewer than one in a hundred of the general population is homosexual, let's be generous and allow for two.

The deputy leader - Maryan Street

Well educated and experienced in both sides of employer/employee bargaining.
A past president of the party with proven leadership ability and a pleasant demeanour - vastly underutilised currently while the petulant children hog the limelight in the Labour Party play pen


Spokesman for Sport - Louisa Wall

A track record of achievement in sport.  Fresh young blood well able to connect with young people.


The rest of them are not worth keeping.

Robertson is overrated and has shown himself unable to accept the responsibility of deputy leadership.
A white anter interested only in self promotion.

Chauvelle - too small and fat - a whinger.  Should be used for burley.

From the trade union faction, on the grounds that trade unions represent fewer than fifteen percent of the workforce and probably less than five percent of the voting public, they might expect to put up two MPs.

 Spokesman for Local Government - Phil Twyford

An all round decent bloke, by all accounts.

Spokesman for  Broadcasting - Clare Curran

A slapper whose picture likely does her an injustice.  Ask Mallard who is widely reputed to have had a closer look at her pitch when the covers were off..

The rest of them are not worth keeping.

Andrew Little.  Couldn't win a Mintie if he was the only kid at the lolly scramble

Darien Fenton.  Likewise and a real nasty bitch to boot.

Sue Maroney.   A strapper who should find employment with her brother.

Iain Lees-Galloway.  Doesn't know if he's a barramundi or a barracuda.

What about the rest?

Party Leader - Shane Jones

The only one bright enough and smart enough to take it to John Key.  Good leadership experience and definitely represents a break with the politically correct Clark regime.
A Bro from Ngati Hine.  Gotta be good.

Finance spokesman - David Cunliffe

Young and bright enough to shake off the stigma of the Clark years.  Suffers from John Wayne syndrome and his ego will get in the way.  He will need to be kicked a few times by Jones.

 Primary Industries spokesman - Damien O'Connor
Anyone who can stand up to the gaggle of poofs and gang of thugs gets my vote.

State Services spokesman - Chris Hipkins

Everyone likes a boy scout

Science and Technology spokesman - Moana Mackey

Eminently qualified in 'real' science.  A bright spark

Foreign Affairs spokesman - Raymond Huo

All round clean cut guy with impeccable education and credentials.

Maori Affairs spokesman - Rino Tirikatene

Excellent legal and commercial background.
Another Bro from Ngati Hine.

Shadow House Leader- Ross Robertson

Strong career in industrial engineering.  Well liked across the political spectrum.

The rest of them are not worth keeping.

David Shearer (How could I forget him?)  Easily, when he's back in Somalia. 

David Parker still thinks the ETS is the duck's nuts.  He should be cut up and used for cray bait.

Jacinda Ardern.  Brainless flibbertygibbet with too many teeth.  Rumoured to have been very close to David Parker.

Clayton Cosgrove.  Too small.  Been hammered too many times by Crusher Collins.

Nanaia Mahuta.  Oversize.  No track record of anything, let alone ability.  Daddy's girl.

Su'a William Sio.  Small time crook caught out once too often.

Trevor Mallard.  Epitomises everything wrong with the Labour Party.   Even if you tied a large anchor around his neck you couldn't trust the bastard to drown.

Ruth Dyson.  Should be culled for age.

Parekura Horomia.   Must be due for a fatal heart attack.  By hell they could grow some bloody good water melons if they don't bury him too deep.

Ragen Prasad.   Too politically correct even for the politically correct.  A useless drone.

Kris Faafoi.   Terminally useless as a press secretary so was given a gift seat.  Contribution? Zero.

David Clark.  Failed Presbyterian minister.  My God, if he couldn't make it in that nest of socialists, Labour doesn't want him.

Megan Woods.  Appears to be past the age of spawning.


Anonymous said...

You really don't have enough to do with your days do you?

smttc said...

Adolf, you must be kidding about Shane Jones. For a starter, it seems to me he is in the wrong party. This is why he is going nowhere fast.

But more importantly, he is a pompous git and totally unelectable. He is a perennial list MP. To lead, you must have an electorate seat and in my view a Maori seat will not cut it.

Otherwise, a very amusing blog.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Anon @ 6:57

Yes, it took some time to put it together but doesn't it just show why these dils have no show in 2014?

Anonymous said...

Good one!

Easily the best post in this blog for many, many months.

Anonymous said...

"...doesn't it just show why these dils have no show in 2014?"

Not when you compare them to the sociopathic rabble on the other side of the aisle, no.

Anonymous said...

It would really help if you put names to these pictures. Not everyone knows who they all are.

Anonymous said...

"Richie Cunningham" Hipkins should be in the tailgunning faction. He's as bent as a clock-spring.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

non @ 8:06

Yes I will. After bfast

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Anon @ 9:02

I'm reliably informed you are wrong.

Barnsley Bill said...

Shane jones cannot be leader and not because he cannot stop touching himself. His business dealings in the north would show more spatter than his laptop if a bright light were pointed at them