Saturday, January 21, 2012


So there I was some 7 days ago sitting on our balcony early evening enjoying a Genmorangie (or 2) and contemplating some very big wood pigeons when the phone rang and a very pleasant Indian voice hastened to assure me he wasn't selling anything but did I have 4 minutes to be screened to see I might be eligible to participate in research conducted by Roy Morgan.

If I made the grade I could win $3000 or one of 4 consolation prizes of $500.  

Well, having supped well of the nectar of the Gods, I decided to give it a go and made it through the screening process.   I was told that in the next few days I would receive a booklet in which I was to record my media listening habits.  Ok, sweet, sounds easy.

Today a parcel arrived comprising a book and a booklet.   The booklet asked me to record what I read in the print media for the next seven days; my use of the internet, and my hour to hour listening of TV/Radio from 5.30 am to midnight daily.  

Now, the book.   121 pages of questions comprising over 600 questions in all and many quite complex.   Some real doozies included.   Did I suffer from Alzheimers (how could I remember);  what about TMJ syndrome (what the f**k is that);  did I feel stressed (only after I read the book), and did I have a 'low' sex drive (at 6' 1" how could I).   If I were a 'her', was my favourite method of contraception 'abstinence'.   Other questions included whether I had 'indulged' in a massage and whether I had ever smoked Texas 5 cigarettes.

The bloody thing is going to take me about five hours to complete.

Question.  Has anyone else in a moment of weakness signed up to this and did they consign said books to the trash can.

I would be fascinated to know the % return.


WWallace said...

Throw it away.

My wife agreed to a similar arrangement and discovered that their expectations were FAR greater than she'd been led to believe on the phone.

Roy Morgan should pay people to complete these. No "random winner" stunts. Otherwise, it is a rip-off.

Barnsley Bill said...

Yes and straight to the bin after I felt the heft of the book

Anonymous said...

yes. ditto, and they get a bit scratchy when it comes time to chase up.

There's no way they can get any robust or sensible data from these

Anonymous said...

Old school market research is an overpriced, unreliable dinosaur.

Research based on paper and pencil volunteerism was tipped to be headed for economic deathwatch in the 1970's.

Non-completion rates are the killer. If you send out 1,000 questionnaires and get a 4% return, what does it say about the 96% of normal people who binned it - and the 4% of fringe nutters [the lonely, stupid, bored, weird, and confused] who did?

Would you make a million dollar commercial decision based on this garbage?