Thursday, January 20, 2011

He Who Larrfs Larst

When the Stuxnet story first broke on the internet (it took a week for the antique media to catch up) Adolf guessed it was the work of the Israeli secret service. There was much conjecture about that. Some commentators blamed Russia, some blamed China while some even opined that Seimens themselves might have been in on it.

Behind Dimona’s barbed wire, the experts say, Israel has spun nuclear centrifuges virtually identical to Iran’s at Natanz, where Iranian scientists are struggling to enrich uranium. They say Dimona tested the effectiveness of the Stuxnet computer worm, a destructive program that appears to have wiped out roughly a fifth of Iran’s nuclear centrifuges and helped delay, though not destroy, Tehran’s ability to make its first nuclear arms.


I didn't for a moment make the connection with the US.

Now, it seems pretty conclusive that this extraordinary cyberweapon was a joint venture between the Yids and the Yanks. One of the most ingenious and inspiring episodes of fuckuppery since World War Two. An absolutely brilliant piece of feint, double feint, outflank and strike by none other than the left's favorite dumbarse, President Georg W Bush.




Oh how Dubbya must have quietly laughed his arse off as Dinnerjacket harangued the USA and the West from the safety of the United Nations. The poor dosy bastard didn't know that all the while Dubbya was chewing his arse so hard that soon he wouldn't be able to sit down. And Dinnerjacket couldn't even feel any pain.

It seems to me, the leaking of the Stuxnet news to the public is part of the politico/diplomatic game. Dinnerjacket has been relying on his nuclear bomb project to prop up his credentials with the hard line Iranian mullahs and generals as well as the Iranian public. He must be looking a bit sick on the home front right now.



Adolf wonders how much information about Stuxnet is still under wraps. Perhaps it has done so much damage that no matter what Dinnerjacket does, his nuclear programme has been knocked over and he must start all over a again from scratch. I wouldn't be surprised if in fact he is ten or more years away from being able to but together a bomb.

I wonder also if Stuxnet's little brother already is burrowing away amongst the computers of the Iranian military's command and control network.

Here's hoping.

The moral of the story is, never misunderestimate the Yids and the Yanks.

13 comments:

Psycho Milt said...

An absolutely brilliant piece of feint, double feint, outflank and strike by none other than the left's favorite dumbarse, President Georg W Bush.

And this is yet another example of just what an incomparable dumbarse he is. What he's actually done, for the sake of temporarily annoying some Iranians and sucking up to some Israelis, is issue China and various other places with a free pass to target the USA with similar clever tricks.

When the US govt does catch China mounting cyber-attacks, what's it going to be able to say? "But it's OK when we do it!", perhaps? The Chinese can just point to the US govt having made this kind of thing acceptable. Typical W stuff, really.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

I wondered just how long it would take for someone to bite.

Milt, you're in lala land.

I guess you would have called the Normandy landings a foolish gesture to temporarily annoy the Nazis?

The Chinese have been trying to do this for years. Their failure to succeed thus far is a significant chink in their armour. The message from the Yanks and the Yids is 'don't get too smart or you'll be on the receiving end.'

Anonymous said...

Bragging comes before a fall. GWB hasn't done this - someone clever has and I bet he (or her husband) wears a funny hat. There are three basic rules about this I reckon:

Keep secrets.

If you are clever don't brag about it.

If you are a manager / dimwit take credit for clever stuff other peole do.

Laugh at the Chinese all you like - they are presently an economic powerhouse while America is an economic poorhouse. The Chinese will come unstuck eventually but the US already has.

KG said...

"And this is yet another example of just what an incomparable dumbarse he is. What he's actually done, for the sake of temporarily annoying some Iranians and sucking up to some Israelis, is issue China and various other places with a free pass to target the USA with similar clever tricks."

Oh yeah, right. China has been desperately hanging out, just waiting for that free pass. There's no way they'd ever engage in cyber warfare without it. Nossir.

Simon said...

Good work! Stuxnet plus Mossad's assassination / rendition of Iranian nuclear scientists puts off the day that Israel will go it alone and attack Iran. Iranian possession of nuclear weapons is an existential threat to Israel - and the Arabs don't much like the prospect of the P[ersian]-bomb either. Arabs and Persians are ancient foes: Jews vs Arabs is, comparatively, a mere blink of the eye.

If Amendinnerjacket / the mad mullahs attack Israel with nuclear weapons, a lot of Palestinian 'brothers' will be cremated too. Like in West Germany (according to the NATO Nuclear Weapons Effects Computer), Israeli and Palestinian cities and towns are only five kilotons apart.

China has already been engaged in cyber-attacks and hacking for some time (eg,targets include Google, the Dalai Lama, Indian govt, US corporates & govt, etc). Plus lots of industrial espionage to steal Western technology that the Chinese can't innovate fast enough or well enough.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Reminds me very much of the Whitlam / Bjelke Petersen stoushes of the 1970s in which Gough promoted himself as 'Australia's Greatest Ever PM' and dubbed Bjelke 'Australia's Dumbest Ever Premier.' Of course the media lapped it up, as they do.

In the end Bjelke did Whiltlam like a dinner over a Senate replacement and set the scene for his ultimate defeat.

The headline was something like "Dumbest Ever Premier Does Over Greatest Ever PM"

Psycho Milt said...

Oh yeah, right. China has been desperately hanging out, just waiting for that free pass. There's no way they'd ever engage in cyber warfare without it. Nossir.

You misunderstand. Of course China is carrying out cyber warfare already and doesn't need any kind of free pass whatsoever. What Bush has done is remove any basis for the US govt to try and take the moral high ground when it eventually does catch the Chinese at it. Which of their allies would attempt to feign outrage under those circumstances?

The message from the Yanks and the Yids is 'don't get too smart or you'll be on the receiving end.'

The message actually seems to be "Look, we're doing it too so go for your life, no-one'll blame you."

SHG said...

Word among the hacker community is that Stuxnet was pretty amateurishly done. It used a very broad range of malware techniques but did several things quite badly.

Many security researchers are saying "If this is the best the combined talents and money of the USA and Israel can come up with, we're in deep shit".

https://threatpost.com/en_us/blogs/stuxnet-authors-made-several-basic-errors-011811

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

SHG, who gives a shit what the 'hacking community' whoever they are thinks? It did the job it was supposed to do without a shot being fired or a bomb being dropped.

No doubt the 'hacking community' would have made the same criticisms of 'Fat Man' after it had flattened Hiroshima and saved some three million lives.

Falafulu Fisi said...

SGH, the hacking community is mainly madeup of script-kiddies. I mean those kids who write HTML codes and boast themselves as smart but they're nothing more, than toilet cleaners.

The stuff that NSA/CIA/DIA and other major US intelligence communities are at the cutting edge scientific stuff. Scientists @ Los Alamos are the forefront in research in code-breaking. Eg, see the discussion paper here (some years ago) from Los Alamos scientists of how they're developing quantum computing for the purpose of code-breaking into adversaries' communication systems.

The paper above from Los Alamos discusses the use of quantum shor algorithm and this is the domain of scientists and not script-kiddies, because it is a very complex field.

Los Alamos scientists had already built a proto-type quantum computing system and that was reported in the late 1990s (that paper can be found on their web-site). Perhaps they already perfected the technology @ Los Alamos and use it today to break into foreign goverment's communication systems. But they're not going to reveal such technology are they?

Anonymous said...

Stuxnet has impeded the Iranian nuclear program, no doubt. But if the malware had been better written it would never have been detected.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Anon, don't you get it? The real damage to Dinner Jacket was in having the cyperweapon detected and publicised.

Simon said...

Stuxnet may not have been perfectly obfuscated, but usually good enough is good enough: it destroyed Iranian centrifuges used for enriching uranium. The Iranians will also probably have to throw away the PC's at their nuclear facilities. It's the best, quickest way to stop Stuxnet propagating. That's MS Windoze for you....