Started yesterday, was asked to come in at 9.30 instead of the regular 8.
Arrived to a warm greeting by all. Shown to my desk which was buckling under the strain of all the new toys. Flash new laptop. Check. Flash new PDA. Check. All the accessories. Check.
Look around, everybody still smiling. Went for coffee. Met with boss who informed me we are off on holiday on Thursday (he called it a conference) to some swankly lodge on the Waikato near Taupo. Met new P.A, like Mary Poppins (without the singing). Went for lunch. Started reading training manuals, constantly interrupted by IT guy who wanted to make sure I had everything I could possibly need E.V.E.R
Spent the remaining hour of the day being introduced to senior staff.
Today. Arrived early for daily conference call with sales team. Went for coffee, read some more stuff. Had an organic interface issue with intranet login, called IT guy. He was at my desk within seconds and actually apologised for not training me properly!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF. Starting to look around now wondering whether the dream would end. Interrupted by boss who told me the rental 4wd was organised for me to get to the holiday, and a cab to collect me from home in the morning to collect it. As I am absorbing this he drops the bombshell that a week after I am back from this weeks holiday, we are off on holiday again (he called it national conference).
Now think that somebody has slipped me a shroom and I am having a Tom Cruise in "The Firm" trip and terrified that I might awaken. Brought back to reality by glimpsing my hideous reflection in the window.
Meet with HR manager who is like Mary Poppins mum, fought back the tears at the niceness of it. Feeling euphoric when she asks me if everybody is being nice. Then trotted along to payroll, they were getting twitchy because they needed my forms SO THAT THEY COULD PAY ME TODAY.
Finished the day with some more solid reading.
Got in car, traffic parted.. Home in minutes.
And then I got the email with my payslip in it and saw the BAD NEWS.
I am now back in the PAYE system. Woe is me.