Thursday, May 27, 2010

World cup 2010. Update 3, with added extra bonus Michael Caine.

The Seppos lost. Good.
FIFA, IOC, RCC, Labour... All large organisations run for generations by corrupt greedy pricks doing their utmost to scam as much for themselves as they can.
In the case of FIFA the massive backhanders paid by prospective host cities and the living like emperors by the hierarchy are par for the course. It has been a feature of FIFA since I went to flight school with Pontius and I just cannot maintain the bulging eyed rage of my younger years about it.
The vein popping, eye bulging rage is never far from the surface when I think about how the USA ALWAYS have a nice soft ride to the tournament all because the FIFA princelings need the money Coke and other global brands deliver to them on the condition that the Septics get to play.
So I always cheer up no end when they lose as they did today to the Czechs.
Other results are not really telling us much. The Irish are still mildly perturbed by the supernatural incident that saw the short fat Argie posess the tall black Frenchman and took it out on poor old Paraguay. Greece scraped a score draw against North Korea. Not sure what to read into that, on one hand you would think the North Koreans would be too busy trying to start WW3 and on the other hand they might be worried about upsetting the pyschotic dwark king who will probably turn them into some sort of Korean soylent green (with added spaniel flavouring) if they lose. Unless........ The Koreans paid the Greeks? I hear the greeks are short of a quid at the moment.
The big shocker for me was Portugal completing a scoreless draw against the Cape Verde Islands.

First wildly uninformed prediction. The Winner will be a European team. My heart says England, my head is screaming Portugal or Spain.

Next games Netherlands v Mexico and France v Costa Rica.

Todays super added extra bonus Michael Caine is the trailer from Escape to Victory, a good film that would have been great if they had not cast the Italian Pit Pony as a dwarf monosylabic goal keeper. Everybody knows goalkeepers are supposed to be tall and monosylabic with a serious addiction to internet porn.

UPDATE.. A terrible thought occurred to me after writing this. It is world cup time which can mean only one thing. The professional bog trotter Tommy Smith is no doubt going to turn up on our screens ruining every minute of coverage. I have called South African Immigration anonymously and told them he is a retired IRA hitman out of retirement to cause havoc in the Republic. If a few of you could also drop them a call or email we might just head the idiot off.


Barnsley Bill said...

I got an email from somebody suggesting that I should be providing actual match reports.
If you want a Frank Bough watch the telly...
I am an English football supporter, I rant, I cry, I scream irrationally.

Heine said...

Bloody hell, that was a rant! Of course the Czechs beat the Yanks, the Czechs were in the top ten up until the last WC fiasco where they were just awful at the WC and didn't even qualify this time, leaving those bastard Slovaks there instead!

The US aint that bad, I'd love them to frighten the Poms. They got to the finals of the confederations cup and were leading Brazil 2-0 at halftime, so they can't be that bad!

The English to be knocked out early. Sorry mate but I don't see them winning anything.

pdm said...

Most of this is too cryptic for me.

What have bags and onions to do with Rooney?

MrTips said...


you are a blinking genius!
You SHOULD call the games, I haven't laughed so hard at football descriptions since ages ago.

I look forward to continued Channel Barnsley during the next golden month or so.

Barnsley Bill said...

Thanks Mr Tips, all I ever need is my tummy rubbed.
PDM. The Onion Bag reference is about the commentator Tommy Smith, despite his name he is Irish and a commentator used usually by ESPN. His voice flicks the enraged switch in my head and his love for tired cliches rivals that of Sean Fitzpatrick in his prime. Whenever a goal is scored he screams about the ball being in the "old Onion Bag" meaning the back of the net.
Heine, agreed re the Czechs. The other comment may well see you going home in a wheelie bin.

Inventory2 said...

It's actually Tommy SMYTH - "wid a Y" - don't you listen BB?

He even hosts a filler segment on ESPN called "The Old Onion Bag" which is, as BB points out, more than mildly irritating!

James Stephenson said...

Smyth ("with a woiy") gah!

Surely Sky will be onto it enough to give us England games with English commentators?

At least here in NZ we will escape hearing "Three Lions" played endlessly on the Radio...enjoy that Clint, it's probably karma because you get to go to the blond festival.

Barnsley Bill said...

Mildly irritating! In much the same way a bleeding rash on Little Barnsley would be.
He is to football what Murray Mexted is to thugby.

Gooner said...

Aaaah, Escape to Victory. Now THAT'S a movie.

Heine said...

They have updated Three Lions with Robbie Williams, Russell Brand, joining Baddiel and Skinner. WHY do they mock me?

Yes it is karma, I'll be in Riga surrounded with hundreds of Eastern European blondes in 20 hours...