Sunday, November 29, 2009

Ask baby before changing nappy

Unbelievable, but true.

Parents should be treating babies and toddlers with more respect, a visiting academic says, and that means talking to infants as if they are adults, never putting them in high chairs or leaving them in car seats, and steering clear of many popular toys.

From day one, early childhood expert Polly Elam says, parents should also consult their baby before picking them up, changing their nappy or taking them on outings. That means talking the baby through what you are about to do, before you do it – and waiting for their response.

If parents skip this consultation, they should later apologise to the baby and explain why they acted hastily.

Is there any hope for the World with garbage like this.

These theories actually belongs in the bottom of a nappy mixed in with all the p*ss and sh*t because that is what these theories are - p*ss and sh*t.


KG said...

There's a technical explanation for this:
Polly Elam is fucked in the head.

Anonymous said...

Pity you didn't listen, you just might learn something.

KG said...

Insert Tui ad....

Gooner said...

Anon, it goes like this:

"Oh, little Willie has done a poos and also lots of piss there too. Darling, shall I change him"?


"Willie, although you are only 4 months old, I'm asking you if you'd like me to change your nappie. Would you like me to? It's full".

(Gurgles and cooing.)

"I'm sorry Willie, what was that?"

(More cooing.)

"Um, er, okay. I am going to skip this consultation and change it anyway".

(5 minutes later.)

"Willie, I apologise for acting so hastily in changing your nappie. But I couldn't get a response from you"


(Knock, knock.)

"There's someone at the door honey"

(Opens door.)

"Oh, CYFS. What do you want?"

"We've received a complaint that you failed to consult with your child before changing his nappie. Is that correct?"

"Yes, but he can't talk. He's just four months old!"

"You've obviously not even taught him to talk yet. That's neglect. And so is the lack of consultation. He's coming with us".


Graeme Edgeler said...

That quote was pretty bad, but some of the other quotes were surprisingly sensible:

At other times, babies and toddlers should be allowed to explore at home, rather than being restrained in high chairs, or left to sleep in portable car seats. Parents should also avoid pushing them to start rolling over, crawling or walking.
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If the infant learns a new skill, such as picking up a toy they have dropped by themselves, the philosophy says parents should not praise them. Elam says: "We try not to praise the child for things that they would do naturally ... a little bit of struggle is what a child enjoys doing. When they have accomplished something, we want them to have the intrinsic feeling of, `I did it!', rather than looking for the external praise." Likewise, if an infant falls and hurts themselves, parents should not just shush them and tell them they are fine. "They're not fine – they're frightened, and so we'd rather say what happened: `You fell down the steps, and that was frightening for you'... We don't deny the child the feeling. We often want the child to stop crying because it makes us feel more secure, but we've got to allow them to go through the crying and come out the other side knowing `I can get hurt, I can cry but I can also come out'. That's a life-long lesson that we want them to learn."

Falafulu Fisi said...

Let me guess. It must be either a psychology research or one from sociology researchers? It is predictable.

Flashman said...

Let me guess, Polly either has no children of her own or they have grown into complete fuck ups.

Inventory2 said...

I really struggle with this whole notion of treating children as adults, or as equals. Patently, they're not. Children need to learn about boundaries and about discipline, and they don't need their parents being their "friends" all the time.

Falafulu Fisi said...

The great Nobel laureate physicist late Richard Feynman, said it correctly in a talk on CARGO CULT SCIENCE he gave at CalTech in the 1970s about these so called experts such as the likes of Polly Elam.


But then I began to think, what else is there that we believe? (And
I thought then about the witch doctors, and how easy it would have
been to cheek on them by noticing that nothing really worked.) So
I found things that even more people believe, such as that we have
some knowledge of how to educate. There are big schools of reading
methods and mathematics methods, and so forth, but if you notice,
you'll see the reading scores keep going down--or hardly going up
in spite of the fact that we continually use these same people to
improve the methods. There's a witch doctor remedy that doesn't
work. It ought to be looked into; how do they know that their
method should work? Another example is how to treat criminals. We
obviously have made no progress--lots of theory, but no progress--
in decreasing the amount of crime by the method that we use to
handle criminals.

Yet these things are said to be scientific. We study them. And I
think ordinary people with commonsense ideas are intimidated by
this pseudoscience. A teacher who has some good idea of how to
teach her children to read is forced by the school system to do it
some other way--or is even fooled by the school system into
thinking that her method is not necessarily a good one. Or a parent
of bad boys, after disciplining them in one way or another, feels
guilty for the rest of her life because she didn't do "the right
thing," according to the experts.

So we really ought to look into theories that don't work, and
science that isn't science.

I think the educational and psychological studies I mentioned are examples of what I would like to call cargo cult science.

Yep, Feynman meant exactly about cult researchers such as Polly Elam. The sad thing is, our politicians (including their cult followers) are willingly listen to the advice of cult researchers, which influence them in how our legislations are drafted.

WAKE UP said...

Re everything GRAEME EDGELER said: not criticising you, Graeme, 'cos indeed large chunks of that are sensible. MY QUESTION IS: WHO is this aimed at? My parents knew what to do; I knew what to do. It's called, largely, common sense. Who NEEDS this stuff drip-fed to them? Are we now a nation composed entirely of (a) incompetents and (b) busybodies?

Answers on postcard please :)

A teacher's voice said...

In response to Gooner:

What you write is too simplistic. The article was not really well written. They tried to summarise too many ideas and the result was appaling.

I work with children and I know how amazingly resourceful they are. They may not reply with words, but they will certainly let you know what they think. I see this scene every day:
The adult says, "I need to change your nappy now". The baby lifts her or his arms to be carried to the changing area. This is not new for those who work with young children.

The RIE philosophy wants children to be listened to, and respected. We want them to become adults who are aware of their needs and who are empathic and resourceful.

Giving their time to explore in a safe area, observing what interests them and learning what makes them who they are - that is at the heart of this philosophy. There is no cult here. Just the media and its usual way of presenting the information so it sells better.

Gooner said...

Hey, all that stuff sounds great.

But just don't expect me to ask my daughters if they want something that I know is good for them, because I will give it to them regardless.