Wednesday, November 4, 2009

What's Going On...? New Zealand Cricket?

Update: We have refined the art of losing. New records for losing have been set. Six wickets down in less than sixty minutes. Why do we pay these people? Just imagine what we could do if we went on tour without a coach or a wicket keeper!

Adolf has concluded NZ Crcket is run by socialists. Good little Labour activists, the lot of them

Reports indicate there is a faceless and gutless clique of so called 'senior players' who called 'no confidence' in their duly appointed coach but failed to confront him personally with their 'issues' so that he could deal with them. They complained because the coach didn't have a 'cricketing brain.' That's a bit rich, coming from a bunch of dils who don't have a batting brain between them. (In case they haven't noticed, it's the captain and vice capatin who need to have cricketing brains on the day, it's the selectors who need to have strategic cricketing brains. The coach's job is to coach the players in technique and attitude.)

Then there's the spineless administration which appointed Moles but then failed to back their appointee in the face of what can only be called a cowardly attack. What a pity the 'senior players' did not spend their time examining their own attitudes to batting a decent innings instead of wasting it plotting and scheming.

Adolf would have marched the players into a meeting with all management and players present. They would all have been told to pull their bloody heads in and get on with it. The coach is the coach and you will work with him until his contract has run its course. If you don't like it, you can resign and go somewhere else. Hokitika or The Chathams, preferably.

Now we have the bizaarre spectacle of a coachless, vice captainless, brainless gang of players masquerading as a team, trundling of to certain defeat at the hands of Islamic Cricket.


pdm said...

It is interestng to watch this from even further afar than normally. I am sure there has been speculation as to who the ring leaders are. I find it hard to speculate but would have put McCullum up as the likely leader but I read somewhere he wasn't involved..

If not him who - Vettori has nothing to gain, Mills maybe, Taylor doesn't strike me as the type but then Moles may have lined him up about his poor shot selection and Ryder and Oram are never there because they are injured. Not many left.

Any feed back?

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

I forgot to add the failure of management to back their appointee will render the task of finding a new coach doubly difficult. You might as well take on the leadership of the Labour Party.

Any aspirant will demand a large financial penalty from NZ Cricket in the event tenure is cut short for ANY reason other than premature death.

pdm said...

Adolf - Justin Vaughan has been a disappointment in the job.

alex Masterley said...

Bring back Sneds! Or even a Hadlee if any are available!
As PDM says, Vaughn has been an incredible disappointment. Over rated as a player and overrated as an administrator.

Keeping Stock said...

I had high hopes for Vaughan, but he has transpired to be King Midas in reverse.

Interestingly though, I listened to Bryan Waddell over the weekend, and he reported that the senior players were adamant that they had not leaked the story of their concerns to Jono Millmow at the Dom-Post. Waddell has the ear of the players on a regular basis (and vice-versa), and I have no reason to doubt the veracity of what he reported.

So who DID leak? Realistically, there are only two alternatives - Moles himself, or NZC. My money would be on the latter, and it wouldn't be the first time.

baxter said...

ow we have the bizaarre spectacle of a coachless, vice captainless, brainless gang of players masquerading as a team, trundling of to certain defeat at the hands of Islamic Cricket. ...................I dunno,the Bay Of Plenty Rugby Team didn't do too bad when they found themselves in the same position.

Anonymous said...

Oh grow a brain! John Hood (ex Fletcher Challenge exec) corporatised NZ Cricket in the early 1990s) - they as capitalist as Milton Friedman. Proof? When the Kiwi squad damn near got blown up on Sri Lankan tour in the 1990s, NZ Cricket only cared about continuing the tour to get revenue...

Back to 2009 - McCullum (managed by Stephen Fleming) sacked as Vice Captain tells you who was fingered as behind the coup. And is it just coincidence that Fleming is now being pushed - including by Vettori - as possible new coach? This has gobs of Flem all over the handle of the knife sticking out the back of Andy Moles. Millmow's 'it wasn't a player' does not rule out McCullum's manager Fleming...

Distraction - washed up ex-coach 'stumper' Steve Rixon pleading for another go as coach - obviously desperate and pathetic.

There are plenty of capable people who could do the job (Dipak Patel, Turner again, John Wright, etc), but NZ Cricket has to rein in Vettori. Players should not be selectors (conflicted - picking themselves!) nor coach (again conflicted, and too close to action, and usually not experienced enough in coaching). Vettori's comments since becoming a selector have seen him effectively firing the coach - even if that was not his intention.

But while NZ Cricket hasn't handled this well, I wouldn't blame Allott or Vaughan for a 3rd party's dirty little coup. And Fleming would be the wordst coach in NZ's history - no experience, no talent, and form as a backstabber - what a guy! ;(

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Brilliant bit of bile there, anon.

Only trouble is, Fleming has publicly rejected any notion he might be interested.

You'd better go away and work on your story of Bonaparte's great victory at Waterloo.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Oh yes Anon, I forgot.

The last time the Slack Caps showed any signs of consistent success was when Steve Rixon was coach.

Nick said...

We may as well put Vettori on the field with 10 cardboard cutouts, judging by this morning's display. Best bowler and nearly top scorer.

Anonymous said...


if steve rixon was success, we have forgotten what it looks like. I recall him being arseholed out for lack of success, but it turns out that he was as good as it gets.

Well given the current sorry shower, maybe NZCricket's tea lady might be available?

and adolf i wouldnt be so quick to claim Fleming isnt behind this, denials do not necessarily mean truth, in fact isnt there a line from yes Minister to the effect that it isnt until its been officially denied that you know its true?

Sack the lot of the clutzes. The team has never recovered from the "young guns" bullshit and never performed sufficiently to justify the tag.

Keeping Stock said...

A much improved performance this morning, on the back of what has been described as an outstanding ton from McCullum. Perhaps all is not lost.