Read the piece in the Guardian and laugh. The one about refs had me in fits. And whatever you do, don't miss this tour-de-force in the face of imminent death. A sample:
And when the fluid drains out of your scrotal sac, guess where it goes next? Can you?
That's right, for about a week I sport a huge, fluid-filled fringe under the head of my penis, making it look like some weird skinhead Gila-lizard from hell. I tell every male I meet about this.
They are all, without exception, appalled. One says:
"Cancer victim or not, if you don't shut the fuck up right now, I'm going to punch you."