Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Just for the record

AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, 'Common Sense', who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as
having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the
rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was
my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their vfictims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust. His wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

As politicians around the western world finally bury commonsense under a mountain of debt, thankfully we don't have the means to do the same. Our bright hope is that as a country we actually put a peg in the ground for commonsense and start rebuilding.(minus Dunne of course)

Hattip letter via email from SM

4 comments:

Clunking Fist said...

"Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home"

Did anyone else hear the Auckland shopkeeper interviewed last night? He keeps rocks under his counter and throws them at shoplifters. They don't come back, apparently.

I wait to hear that, say in 2 weeks time, he's been taken in for questioning over his comments.

Anonymous said...

NZ where the Police cant defend the citizens and refuse to allow the citizens to defend themselves.

The Police are the friends of the criminals

gd

Clunking Fist said...

gd, you missed a bit. NZ: where Police prevent other emergency services from doing their job.

Anonymous said...

Common sense .... the tradegy is that it isn't at all common among politicians