Adolf is a gentle, unassuming, tolerant and patient chap.
Yesterday he found himself at Manukau City with an hour and a half to kill at 1000. So what to do?
Off to KFC. Have you seen those damned 'zinger' ads on TV? Just love hot chili so let's see if they taste as good as they sound. Bloody hell, they look bigger than that on TV!!! Only half the size of a decent whopper the way Hungry Jacks make them in Aussie. But the chili!!! Man, it brought tears to the eyes. Absolutely wonderful.
What next? Oh well, I'll go find a BBQ place and see if you can buy a nice little portable gas job with a char grill feature. You know, one you can throw in the boot and go out for a BBQ picnic in the bush or at the beach. Eventually found the local 'BBQ Factory' and swung into the empty car park at 1030.
This very large shop was empty, apart that is, from rows and rows of assorted barbecues and accessories. Away over on the right, as I came in, was a checkout and admin area with a young man loudly engaged in a phone conversation with a mate, regaling all within fifty yards with the events of the previous evening. Two other woman staff members were fussing around with whatever ladies fuss around with in admin areas.
Adolf had just been to an early morning client appointment so he was not dressed like a bag of shit as he wandered over and began his search for his portable gas fired crematorium. He spotted something which looked like the job for about $500 and moved on to see what else was on offer. After ten minutes or so he came back to the aforementioned apparatus and looked at it from the front, from the back, from the left and from the right, all the while stroking his chin and thinking "How the hell will I get this one past The Cook?"
Eventually I looked at my watch and thought I'd better start moving to pick up my client guest for the one dayer at Eden Park. As I walked toward the door I called in a loud friendly voice to the three staff members "Good morning people!"
They all looked up and phone talker's face lit up as he moved toward me. "Can I help.........."
In the same loud but no longer friendly voice I called out:-
"If I were the owner of this business, by now you would all be fired. Goodbye."
Those people stood around and allowed $500 of valuable recession proofing business to walk out through the door.
I hope the owner of The BBQ Factory at Manukau City reads this blog. He could save two salaries by reducing staff numbers to one. That's all you need to rearrange papers in an admin area.
Slack arsed retail staff should realise that every person who walks into their place of work is a potential blogger. Just like every person with a hands free cell phone in the car is a potential cop.
Baltimore now deserves its own post.
2 hours ago