Here is the story of a loser.
Today Adolf picked up his car after a service and some repairs at his local service station. Adolf drives a six year old V8 Holden Calais and it was due its 100,000 km service and a skim of the brake bits to eliminate vibration when braking.
$750 all up.
The car was kept for a day and a half, due to unforeseen events.
A commercial carpet cleaner turned up at the service station and filled the fuel tank of his van with dieselene. That was his first mistake. You see, his van has and had a petrol engine.
He rushed into the workshop where Adolf's car was being seen to and demanded that the staff remove the diesel fuel from his tank. "Sorry sir, we are not authorised to do that work, you'll have to call the certified specialist who will be along in an hour or so."
Jeyasus! I can't wait that long, I've got fucking carpets to clean. Giz a lend of some tools and I'll do it myself.
"I'm sorry Sir but we can't lend you our tools."
Shit shit shit! Bugger bugger bugger! Fuck fuck fuck! (Obviously a friend of the fellows from The Standard)
So, our newly found loser pushed his van a few metres away from the petrol pumps to the back of the yard, pulled out his industrial strength vacuum cleaner, hooked it up to his petrol tank and proceeded to suck himself dry. There was just one little problem. He forgot about or never contemplated static electricity and before you could say 'clean my carpet' there was a conflagration and the van was incinerated.
The service station was closed down, the fire brigade attended, and mayhem ensued.
The results for the loser were:-
The urgent carpet cleaning jobs were not carried out.
He lost his van.
He voided his insurance policy so any claim for his van and equipment will be declined.
He'll get a bill for about $30k from Shell Company.
Such are the people on whom Helen Clark and Michael Cullen relied for support.
May 28 in history
3 hours ago