Just been reading an article in the Dec 20-26 Listener about whether it's unreasonable for Western countries to get tough on Muslim immigrants' medieval concepts of sex and gender (that's not quite how the Listener phrased it, but you get the idea - usual stuff about whether we really ought to tell Muslim women they can't wear a burqa in a Western country). It reminded me of another story I read this year in the Guardian, in which a Muslim woman bleated about how rude Brits were to one of her relatives when she went out walking in her ridiculous black tent.
Unsurprisingly, I have a view on that and am about to blather on at you about it, but first up a disclaimer:
women in Western countries have an absolute right to wear whatever the hell they feel like wearing, so fuck you if you have a problem with that.
But with that necessary disclaimer out of the way, lest we get all dewy-eyed at the fact that the occasional Westerner fails to meet the level of disinterest in others' sartorial or religious practices that their civilisation expects of them, let me offer you some observations from the other side of the coin - ie, the experiences of a Westerner living in a conservative Muslim country:
1. Women are of course allowed to wear a burqa, but the list of perfectly ordinary Western clobber they'd better not wear in public if they don't want serious trouble is rather long.
2. Men have a somewhat less extensive list, eg you'd better not wear shorts, or a tank top, and you won't take your shirt off completely unless you'd like somebody to give you a thorough beating (actually I can sympathise with that one), and so on.
3. Men should wear no jewellery beyond a watch and a wedding ring. The time I was involved in a minor car accident and had to visit the Police station, one of the kindlier cops pointed out to me that wearing finger and earrings was simply wrong, and could lead to acts of violence against me, including rape (because, after all, how were other men meant to interpret earrings on a man, if not as "Come and get me big boy, I take it up the arse?")
4. It is perfectly reasonable for a Westerner to be a Christian, as long as he doesn't express anything to a Muslim that could be interpreted as encouraging said Muslim also to become a Christian. That kind of behaviour could get a Christian a deportation order or even a good beating. Agitating for the right to import Bibles or build churches will also be viewed by locals as an attack on their culture.
5. It may be perfectly reasonable to be a Christian, but a Westerner in a Muslim country should under no circumstances admit to being an atheist. This insult to God and declaration of depravity is so far from reasonable that no-one hearing it could be expected to be excuse it. In Western terms, it would be like announcing to your colleagues that Hitler was right and the only useful Yid is one that's been turned into soap. Muslims generally have got the message these days that lots of Westerners simply don't believe in God, but they generally will do you the favour of not counting you among this contemptible number unless you leave them no alternative. Here's a tip: leave them an alternative.
6. The man is the boss. If you're a woman, your husband is your boss, or if you don't have one of those, your oldest currently present adult male relative is your boss. Attempts by Western couples to maintain some pretence of equality will be ignored by officialdom and ridiculed by casual observers.
7. Local women are not to be approached, spoken to or anything else by scumbag male foreigners, unless scumbag male foreigner wants to have a sudden and fatal "accident."
8. Local laws will reflect Muslim practice, eg in the country I was living in, alcohol was banned, pork products of any kind were banned, public displays of affection were banned (hmm, some sympathy there too, actually) and smoking, drinking or eating in public during fasting times in Ramadan would get you arrested.
So, how much bleating do you think us Whiteys did about these "features" of life in the Middle East? Er, well, to
each other,
shitloads - whinge the hind leg off a donkey, we could. But to our hosts? Not a sausage. Because, if we did, the response would quite justifiably be as follows:
"Fuck off - this is a Muslim country. If you don't like it, go back where you came from."
Which we all do, eventually.
On the same basis, I tend to have sympathy approximating to 0 for Muslims who want to bleat about their treatment in Western countries. Fuck off - this is a secular country. If you don't like it, go back where you came from.
And yet they don't...