Get your tickets ready for New York Dear Leader, one way of course, the good folk of New Zealand don't want you anymore.
Such is the theme of the Herald's extensive 'mood of the nation' survey of public opinion. Kiwis might not be yearning for a radical change of direction, but they see you as a tired old face, who must now move on.
I know, its tough, you have given everything for New Zealand and those blasted plebs don't want you anymore. Ungrateful swine, eh!
Never mind, you've got your five houses, a good pension and other financial assets and you can strut the world stage as an elder stateswoman. There people won't know what you did back home, and among all those Third World dictators, I'm sure you'll feel at home.
If you don't feel like going now, just have a read of what your people are thinking. They aren't your people anymore. So go off now while you can. Who knows what might be found should National create an anti-corruption commission.