Friday, June 27, 2008

Friday Frolics- Dear Leader special!



Its Friday afternoon once more and time for Friday frolics.
Above is the just the place for burger (it's in Australia).
We pay tribute to Dear Leader this week with a few jokes at her expense. After all, with the polls as they are, she might not be around for much longer.
But first, Amercia and Barack Obama.
And look at how the terrorists are taking advantage of legal process.
And now to Dear Leader. We might miss her when she's gone

2. Q: Why is the Labour-led government spending so many hundreds of millions of dollars making New Zealand prisons comfortable instead of spending this kind of money on improving our schools?
A: Because after the next election it is highly unlikely that members of the Labour caucus will be spending much time in schools.


3. Key, Hide and Helen are suddenly and tragically killed by a freak accident in Parliament. All three appear before the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at Key and asks, “now who might you be?”
“I’m John Key, Leader of the New Zealand National Party,” replies John.
“Ah, yes,” says St Peter, “tragic, you had a lot of promise…you may enter.”
And, with that the Gates swing open and Key wanders on inside.
“Now who might you be,” says St Peter to Hide.“I am Rodney Hide,” replies Hide.
“Ah yes, the dancer. Fundamentally, you are a good man who has an intolerance for evil waste. Not a bad quality at all. You may enter,” and with that the Gates swing open and Rodney enters.
St Peter then turns to where Helen had been standing but she’s gone. All too quickly St Peter realises she’s snuck in through the Pearly Gates behind Rodney or Key.
This is unheard of. But there’s no time to ruminate on the issue. St Peter blurts out an apology to the growing queue of souls, slams his big book closed and races into heaven to find the runner. Finally, he catches up with her.
Panting he says, “Look, I have no idea who you are…but you’re meant to wait at the Gate to be processed. That’s the Rule, it’s been in place for a long time…everyone understands it and abides by it.”
“But I am Helen Clark, Prime Minister of the Greatest Country on Earth and, for your information, Pete, ‘Rules’ are always open to interpretation,” replies Helen haughtily.
“Look, I don’t care who you are,” says St Peter, “you are not meant to be in here and you have to get out of the Boss’s throne right away!”

4-Liabour Party conference time and Dear Leader aims to show “Socialists are not stupid.”
Helen Clark says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that we are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer."
Michael Cullen gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
Helen asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds Cullen says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.
Then 500 party members start cheering, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"
Helen says, "Well since we're gone to the trouble of getting 500 of you in one place and we have the world wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance." So she asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety!"
Helen is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh - everyone is disheartened - Cullen starts crying and the 500 party members begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"
Helen, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance.....What is 2 plus 2?"
Cullen closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four!"
Throughout the audotorium pandemonium breaks out as all 500 party members jump to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream....
"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

2 comments:

Poneke said...

Ha! I have been to Yass.

What a great sign.

Almost as clever as the Ace Rentals whaka billboard.

Anonymous said...

I might have passed through years ago.
But more recently, I have tended to turn off for Canberra,

So what do you all think of the Obama monkey business from the telco.